1st Nephi 1 : 3

And I know that the record which I make is true; and I make it with mine own hand; and I make it according to my knowledge.

In case I wasn’t clear in the last two verses, this is NOT a work of historical fiction. This is the actual version of events as they transpired thirty years ago, regardless of what you might’ve heard from certain delusional brothers mentioned in verse one. While they’re off being a general nuisance, I’m sitting here on a rock hammering these characters with my own (muscular) hands, every word coinciding precisely with my memory and available resources (i.e. the Spirit.) And as I’m only middle-aged and my memory’s still in peak condition, this is one autobiography you can take to the bank.

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