Next thing I knew, we had left our 6,000 square cubit summer home, our foreign pot collection, Mom’s exotic birds (she let those free), our trap door stash (gold, jewels, and other shiny objects hidden in a secret underground compartment), and even our dress clothes. (We figured there wouldn't be too many synagogues in the middle of the desert.) The only things we did end up taking were a few sturdy camels, two donkeys (I'd use a different word, but I wouldn't want you to confuse them with certain of my brothers), our sheep and goat herds, various tents, and as much food and water as we could carry. We made quite a racket on the way out, especially with Laman and Lemuel moaning the whole way. Lemuel even tried to run off and say goodbye to his true-love of four days but Dad tethered him to one of the camels. Frankly it was a good thing we didn’t live in the middle of town. Being out in the surrounding countryside, we were able to slip away at three in the morning without anyone noticing. Well, Obadiah was out, headed to the potty shed, but he promised he wouldn’t say anything. (Who’d believe what an old man with glaucoma saw, anyway?)